“Someday’s I listen to music a little too loud.” I said, pausing staring up at the clock above the shrink’s head. It was mocking me, with each tug of its hand. Only seconds had gone by.
“What do you mean?” Agatha asked me.
I thought about it, and honestly I didn’t know how to reply. What did I mean? Do I ever say anything at all, that has meaning? I decided it was best just to shrug my shoulders in response. Ms shrink, (she prefers if I call her Agatha, I prefer Ms shrink) then bent her head down creating a second chin beneath her given one to scratch something down on her leather-bound notepad. I’m sure it was something about how I couldn’t ever make up my mind.
“Tell me your view on today’s world events Delilah. As well as how you feel about them.” She question in a soft, hypnotic voice.
“Whatever you like.”
I nodded. Hesitating, again. Looking up at the clock, again. I always had to think about her questions. I didn’t want to answer to quick. (I don’t know, I read it online after I typed, ‘how to get your shrink to think your okay.’) “My view, is poor. Were being feed a soup that’s full of the exact ingredients that they want us to eat. I am numb to my surroundings. Casting myself into a life where I don’t notice the present. It’s to painful. I don’t want to hear about city going to war. Children being kidnapped. It makes me heartbroken. So If I don’t see, if I don’t stop for that fraction of a second to feel. I’ll be okay.”
“That’s an interesting take on it.”
I didn’t reply. I had nothing else to say. I could already see how indecisive and blind I was acting. She was probably adding that to her notes about me too. Then at that moment, the room grew quiet. It seemed as if a dry mop was dropped into the middle of it, soaking up every fine sound. Spinning it self around the beige leather couch – that match her notepad – to her wooden rocking chair, to an oversized deep oak desk that disappointedly sat in the corner of the room.
Ms shrink finally spoke up. “But what if you did? Took that time to feel. What would you do?”
“Dunno.” I replied, lying. I’d cry.
“I think it would be overwhelming for you. For anyone really.” I guess it was time for Ms shrink to pause. “Delilah, I think everyone is growing numb. To much pain, too much loss. But what if the whole world felt. What do you think they would do?”
“Everyone?” I asked, frowning. “I think, they would do something to change it. Nobody wants to be sad.”
Written by Alecia Writes